The Space Between Growing and Being
I'd love to ask you something, and I invite you to sit with it for a moment before you keep reading.
Where in your life are you dreaming of expanding, evolving, or growing — somewhere you haven't quite reached yet?
Maybe it's something big and obvious, something you've carried for years. Maybe it's quieter than that, a whisper rather than a roar, something you haven't even said out loud yet.
And here's the follow-up — is it just a matter of time? Or is there a change you know you dream of making but haven't made yet?
No right answer. No wrong one either. Just notice what comes up.
I ask because I think about this a lot. Not just in my work, but in my own life. There's something genuinely fascinating to me about the space between where we are and where we're headed — what lives in there, what drives us through it, what keeps us circling the same spot even when we genuinely want to go somewhere new.
I trust most of you reading this are incredibly self-aware. We've done the reading, the reflecting, the conversations that cracked us open at 2 am. We understand ourselves in ways that took real courage and real time to develop.
And still — there may be places where we're not quite there yet.
I used to think it was a knowledge problem, a consistency problem, or any kind of problem. That if I just understood myself a little better, read one more book, or had one more breakthrough, something would finally click into place and stay there. But in truth, when you're wired for growth, the mindset of almost there can be frustrating and disheartening — and frankly, the very reason it's hard.
What I've found — in my own life and through my work with clients — is that it's rarely a problem at all. It's something we create as we expand. What we are not is not what’s wrong with us — it’s what’s beautiful about what we’re creating. And the systems in us that hold us back are mostly keeping us safe, not things to shame ourselves or speak negatively about.
When you think about that area of your life you named at the start — the place you're reaching toward — what do you think is actually standing in your way? Is it clarity? Courage? Time? Resources? Something you can name, or something harder to put your finger on?
The most important thing isn't having the right answer. It's being honest enough with yourself to actually look.
What I notice, both in myself and in the people I work with, is that the body is often the last to get the memo. The mind can be fully on board with a new direction. The heart can want it deeply. And the nervous system can still quietly run the old program — the one written before we had the awareness we have now, the one that once kept us safe and hasn't quite gotten the update yet.
That's not a flaw. That's just how we're built. And it's kind of a relief to realize it, because it means the gap isn't about something being wrong with you. It's about giving every part of you — not just your thinking mind — a chance to come along.
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What actually helps
There are many ways to regulate and expand your ability to sit with the discomfort of change and growth. It's not just about finding time and space for calm — it's about cultivating awareness and tolerance for discomfort, so you learn to trust your ability to bring yourself back.
To shift your baseline for how much you can hold before the four-alarm fire response kicks in.
Breath is my favorite because it’s the fastest direct route to integration I've found. For me, it was a remote control for my unconscious and a satellite for my intuition. In fact, your breath is the only automatic bodily function you can consciously control — a real, tangible bridge between your thinking mind and your body's state. Change how you breathe, and you genuinely change how you feel, often within minutes.
Community is the other piece that doesn't get talked about enough. When you do this work alongside people who are also reaching toward something, also willing to be honest about where they are, something in your system relaxes in a way that's hard to access alone. We are literally wired to regulate through connection — to be seen, held, and part of something bigger. The very thing we're so lucky to have here at the Wellness Center.
The environment matters more than most people realize. Have you ever noticed how you exhale differently in a new place? How something in you loosens when you step outside your everyday surroundings? Your nervous system is always reading its surroundings. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is take it somewhere new and let it recalibrate. To set down the roles we hold long enough to focus inward.
Changing your life as your prerogative
The big experiences — retreats, ceremonies, the moments that crack something open — those are powerful. But the shift that becomes how you actually live? That happens in the ordinary moments after.
A few simple invitations worth playing with:
Notice what you notice, and get specific without judgment. Instead of "I feel anxious," try "my chest is tight, and my shoulders are up." The more physical and specific, the more your system feels witnessed rather than managed — and witnessing is where real movement happens.
When you feel yourself spinning, slow your exhale. Extend it to twice the length of your inhale — four counts in, eight out, or even shorter. The longer the exhale, the more your system gets to pause and reset.
And here's one to sit with — what are one or two ways you could interrupt an old pattern this week? Not overhaul it. Not fix it. Just interrupt it, once, and see what you notice.
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Summer isn't over yet.
Before the school runs and the packed autumn schedules take hold, there's still time to do something restorative for yourself — something that matters. August is holding two extraordinary opportunities to go deep in nature, in community, before the season turns.
Opening Up and Letting Go — 1-Day Retreat
August 15, Wareham, MA — 1pm to 8pm — $250
A full day of immersive practice in a beautiful natural setting, with a collective of practitioners dedicated to helping you release what's ready to go and open to what's next. I'll be facilitating a 9D Breathwork session as part of the day. Register and pay here: https://bit.ly/3RfYLk8
Barefoot Circus Retreat
August 21-23, Duxbury, MA — starting from $385
Get $20 off with the code: Nicole
A full weekend to completely remove yourself from everyday life, settle into nature, and let your system truly reset. I'll be facilitating a 9D Breathwork session as part of the weekend. Accommodation options range from bringing your own tent to glamping to a cabin — something for every comfort level.
Both retreats offer something that's genuinely hard to find: time, nature, and real community, all in one place, right before life speeds back up.
Learn more and register at wildheartcompass.com/events
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Also join us in August for a single experience.
August 4 — Sacred Breath Ceremony, in-person, Center for the Spiritual Journey, Chatham, 7 pm — $55
August 20 — Online Sacred Breath Ceremony, 4 pm — $55
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The powerful nature of consistent progress.
If you want a warm place to keep this work moving between events — weekly energy healings, simple integration tools, and people asking the same questions you are — my free Skool community Wild Heart is open to you anytime.
Join us at bit.ly/WildHeartSkool
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Interested in working together 1:1? Reach out, and we can discuss whether private sessions are a good fit.
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Nicole Gotthold is a GEO X Practitioner and Mentor and the founder of Wild Heart Breathwork. She facilitates the Sacred Breath Method — a living energetic ceremony weaving sacred breath, 9D Breathwork sound, and real-time presence — for groups online and in person across New England and beyond.
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